A Short Poem: The Sioux believe that all Living creatures are temporary energy swirls. Two swirling spirals, the double helix,  Dance into being  And out again. (by: Robin J. Engel)

 The Good Seeds:

Liliana stands at the precipice, shaking her fist in anguish at …something? …nothing?  God, perhaps?

Liliana: What is this void? I am so empty. So alone. So afraid.

There is a flash of dark, macabre images mirrored in surrounding pools of clear water. They represent her fears, her negative thoughts, and her paranoia.

Liliana (continuous): What is this mirror of fears? I must contain these fears or they will consume me!

The fearful images begin to condense into the image of a being, whose gender is ambiguous and it appears to be ageless. It flares like fire in the pools, with a wicked laugh that permeates Liliana’s entire being.

Liliana: I see now. I have em”bodied” my fears so that I may face them. Who are you? What are you?

The sound that emanates from the being is a blend of more than one voice: a deep, resonant voice and a higher, wispy voice speak in unison.     

The Body of Fears: You decide. It is your thoughts that create me. Perhaps, I am God. Perhaps, I am you. Either way, I am your fears manifested. God is ubiquitous. Your fears are a part of you, just as you are a part of God.

Liliana: How dare you!! Saying that you are God. You are blasphemous. You are the devil in disguise. If I have created you as you say, then I demand  you to leave. Go away! You frighten me and disgust me!!

The Body of Fears: Liliana, I cannot leave you, because I am a part of you.  You must learn to love your own demons or you cannot fully love yourself.  You must love ME.

 Liliana: No!! Never!!

The Body of Fears: All your thoughts are like the seeds in your flower garden, Lily.

The Body of Fears comes into focus.  It grows and coalesces into the most hideous monster that Liliana can imagine: blood pustules dripping from it, leprous scales sloughing off it, tumors bulging from it. She shrieks and backs away from it, shaking in fright.  Somehow, she summons the courage to speak.  

Liliana: You are a trickster and a manipulator. My flowers are beautiful. How dare you compare my flowers to something horrific and ugly.

The Body of Fears: Yes, your flowers are beautiful, but I said ‘seeds’. Your thoughts are like seeds. Seeds are nothing more than potential. They are not all to germinate. And they do not all become beautiful flowers. And sometimes the seeds that do germinate, depending on the situation, can become weeds.

Liliana: My flowers are not weeds! How dare you!!

The Body of Fears: Your flowers may not be weeds to you, Lily. But in some gardens, the same blossoms that are flowers to some are considered weeds by other. They are just like your thoughts. They will germinate if properly nurtured and nourished. So, if you give your fears nourishment, they might just grow into the very things you did not want. What are you afraid of, Lily?

Liliana: I am afraid of growing old. I am afraid of getting sick from the virus. I’m afraid that harm could come to my children. I am afraid of the civil unrest in this country and that we will soon be at war. I am afraid that the fires on the West Coast will hurt people I love. I am afraid that I could lose my job because of the economy. I’m afraid that social security will dry up and I’ll have to work until I’m 90. I’m afraid that global warming will eradicate humanity.  I am afraid of being alone. I’m afraid that my back will go out again and I won’t be able to walk. I’m afraid of dying. I’m afraid that the world will go to war.   I’m afraid…

Lily cannot go on. The Body of Fears comes even closer. Lily weeps and weeps, filling the lake with her tears like Alice in Wonderland. Her tears of fears.

The Body of Fears: I cannot hurt you if you love me.

Liliana: Why on earth should I love you? I want you to go away. I don’t want to face my fears.

As Lily’s vision clears through her tears, she sees that the Body of Fears is transforming yet again, almost impossible to describe, into an enigmatic amalgamation of the hideous monster and an angelic being.

Liliana’s body can no longer withstand the pressure of this fear and negativity and she collapses in a heap, almost falling off the summit. 

The Body of Fears: You must face me. I am a part of you as I am a part of everyone. I am your demons coming to the surface. We live within you. There is no escape. We are fueled by your fear.  But we can be liquidated by compassion and empathy and understanding. Only you have the capacity to render us harmless. You can dissolve us by focusing your attention like a laser on all the possible positive outcomes to your dilemmas. You can imagine anything you want. Germinate the seeds of love and positive thoughts and beautiful, fragrant flowers will blossom. You’ve only to recognize that fear is misunderstanding or not knowing. Your fears only feed on themselves and grow into monsters. LOVE is ALL there IS, Lily. LOVE will hold you up.

Liliana (acquiescing, crying in jagged sobs): Are you telling me to ignore that is in front of my face? To do nothing? To hide my head in the sand like an ostrich? I can never love you. You’re a monster. I…I…can never…

The Body of Fears: Yes, yes you can. Lily, give up. Release your fears. Everything in this world can be your teacher. Take action if you must. But remember, what you focus on grows. Recognize what needs to be done and do what you can. Hold your attention on Hope. Holding on to these fears will destroy you. The influence of Love creates a metamorphosis. Face the monster with love and resolve and your fears will dissolve into an angel.

The truth of these words empowers Lily with a power she never knew she had. Summoning every ounce of strength she can muster, Lily commands her body to rise. Trembling, she turns towards the being. It is not as awful as she thought. As she gains confidence with each breath, her posture becomes more erect.

 Lily faces the Body of Fears with a deep gaze and watches as it dissolves into a glistening, malleable mirror of light and water. She pulls herself to a sitting position and stretches out her arms, this time with tears of joy and love streaming down her face.

Liliana: I love you. I do love you. Come to me.

The being comes closer. As it approaches, Liliana sees the reflection and it resembles herself. She slowly surrenders and as she embraces the body, it melds with her and they become one being.

Say Your Gratitudes every day: I am grateful for my family and friends. I am grateful for my health. I am grateful for dark chocolate. I am grateful for photographs of impossible things that don’t exist in the real world. I am grateful that there are finally some really good places in my city that know how to make true New York pizza. I am grateful for the talented actors on Broadway. I am grateful for spectacularly written books.

Thank the Universal God Spirit for assisting the molecules to converge so that synchronicity happens regularly. Blessed be the divine spirit for vibrating in musical harmonies. Thank you for allowing me to have the experience of life, with all of its foibles and challenges, with all of its possibilities for beauty and love.

Now, I choose to focus on the compassion and love I witness, when so many people have been displaced from their homes due to fires, the others have opened their hearts and homes, giving donations of things and money and time. Perhaps the reason for despair of any kind is so that humans can find humility and love one another without judgment. It is in our darkest hour when the masks drop away (ironically, during a masked pandemic) and we see each other. “I am he, as you are he, as you are me, And we are all together. Goo goo g’joob.” (Lennon / McCartney)

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