Journal Entry,

 My mind has been meandering again.  As I ponder my own mortality, in other words, my impending death, my extinction from the planet, I can’t help but think about the extinction of all things. Everything becomes obsolete, animals become extinct, but why? Are they experiments gone awry? It would be different if only some animals became extinct, or only some ideas never made it, or things that were invented sometimes didn’t hit the market, but the numbers are formidable. So why is that? I would have to postulate that ideas, animals (yes, even people), and inventions are like the seeds that a flower produces. If every seed were to germinate, the world would be overrun by flowers and most things would then cease to exist, including the flowers because the scales would be tipped too much, the balance of things would just be off.

So, perhaps when things happen, and we think that they shouldn’t because they appear to be evil, or useless, or violent, or wrong, or whatever, perhaps these things need to happen to keep the balance. Perhaps, things happen regardless of what we think about them, regardless of whether or not we have decided that this is what should happen and this is what shouldn’t. Perhaps things exist because they need to. Perhaps everything is part of the vast experiment of life and what works – sticks – and what doesn’t – becomes obsolete or extinct.

Now I’m sure that some people who firmly believe in a conventional western form of God, and believe that God has some kind of plan, are thinking at this very moment, “Oh no, God has a plan and it’s been laid out since the beginning of time, and here it is…Z follows Y and Y follows X and so forth.”  But why does everything have to be mutually exclusive? Why can’t you have your God and eat it too? How do you know that God didn’t just create stuff, put it in the universe, and say “Okay, Go…” and see what happens. It makes utterly more sense to me than the stories that everyone has come up with.

 If you look at how life works, which is a mirror image of the larger picture, which is a mirror image of the larger picture, and so on and so forth, you might see that the microcosm imitates the macrocosm and vice-versa.  Look at any system in the entire physical / energy universe. They all pretty much work the same way. Trial and error. If something doesn’t work, let’s dispose of it and put something else in its place. And how do you know what’s going to work before you try it? You don’t. And often times, you don’t know why something is in place and why it does work.

Take the life of bugs, for instance. I don’t particularly care for bugs in that they are annoying. Yet, the idea of bugs and the fact that they occupy every niche on the earth is a testimony to the idea that they might be necessary in the grand scheme of earth’s creatures. There are more bugs than any other animal. They are really efficient, resilient and their basic structure hasn’t changed over eons. When you eliminate one bug species with pesticides or what-have-you, then you create a domino effect and really screw up the ecosystem or habitat, unknowingly – just by trying to remove that pesky little animal (yes, bugs are animals. What did you think they were?)

The point being, you don’t know when something is useful or not. Humans think they know, they believe that they know what is right, wrong, useful or not, or supposed to happen, and not only that, whenever humans have an agenda, they decree that God has declared it so. This is delusional. If God exists in the way that they say, then they, humans, could not possibly know what is necessary. Things, circumstances, life forms, that aren’t working, will be flushed out. Happens all the time and will continue to happen.  To say that we understand God’s “plan” is blasphemous. Violent acts have a purpose and can be explained. We just don’t know what they are yet.

As for evil, I don’t believe in it, just as I don’t believe in good. I think that every act is just that – an act – objective in nature. When it is perceived by the lens of perspective, the act is imbued with judgment. Everyone has a different way of perceiving that act, whether it be killing someone or pulling a weed.

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